watching the road...

This might sound a little heartless. Maybe even a lot heartless.

I've been reading the reports of this big crash near Horsham the other day. Seven people dead. Exploding cars. The whole nine yards. According to reports, the intersection is a dangerous one and has been the subject of local anger and funding calls for decades. Evidently this deadly intersection is well known to locals.

So why then was it locals barrelling through the thing and cleaning up passing non-locals?

Heartless, I know. Especially because, as I look at the picture of the intersection, it really is a bit dodgy. And it could very easily have been the non-locals at fault. In which case, I guess, my sympathies would lie in a different direction.

While clearly the intersection could be improved, I'm concerned the authorities are copping such a one sided basting. After all, there is a very human public service officer probably feeling responsible for this thing right now. How will this attention make that person feel? The tabloid media must know that there is no way anyone at VicRoads can actually dispute their claims of bureaucractic bungling without sounding like unmitigated pricks.

But look again. There are signs. There is a merging traffic sign. There is a speed sign. There is a give way sign. There is a line across the road. These people must've known of the intersection. These people had their kids in the car. These people didn't stop at the sign.

Tragic, yes. But not entirely VicRoads fault.

it's amazing what you can find on youtube :)

I haven't managed to embed directly from youtube yet, but in the mean time please use the text link.

turning the other cheek...

Ok, so this is pretty funny :) Thanks Miss Politics!

Yes, of course mine's there! Can't you tell? :)

Can you tell, C?

fields of experience...

I work in hospitality, so it goes without saying that I work with a lot of young people. My department is about eight people, one female about 40, myself and another male each about 35 and the other handful are all female and average about 22. The whole hotel, about 65 people and including managers and all, probably averages about 23.

I know what I'm about to say is just about different fields of experience. I know full well there are things others would find self-evident which would receive a similar response from me. But all that aside, what follows made me feel something. Whether that feeling was very old or a little snobbish and superior, I can't in all honesty say!

When I got to work Sunday night, after having been out at the movies instead of sleeping, my colleague commented on my visible tiredness.

"Yeh, I didn't get much sleep. I went to see 2001 at the Astor"

*blank stare*

"You know, classic science fiction movie. One of the best known films of all time"

*blank stare*

"Stanley Kubrick. {me affecting HAL accent} What do you think you're doing, Dave? {me humming theme music}"

*blink and shrug* "Cool ,well as long as you had fun"

Bugger me!

movie time!

C and I went to see 2001: A Space Odyssey at the Astor today.

Two of the stars of the film, Keir Dullea and Gary Lockwood, were there for a Q and A and they were signing stuff. They weren't really the draw card, I have to say. It was more to see it on the big screen. And may I say, wow! But them being there kind of added a "this won't come around again factor".

Somewhat surprisingly C enjoyed the movie. Although she's spent the greater part of her social and dating life hanging around with nerds, sci-fi geeks and sundry other film buffs, comic book fans and "cult-following" types, she'd never seen 2001 and has only reluctantly sat through Star Wars and the like! But I digress.

General spoiler warning, if by chance you, also, have never seen it!

Firstly, the music. Well, the sound in general, really. Such a mood is created that you could pretty much follow the film with your eyes shut. Naturally, the big anthemic pieces most associated with the film are powerful. I've posted earlier about my love for big, bold orchestral pieces. When the sun rises over the Earth at the very start and the boom kicks in! Very cool. I'd never heard that piece over the big speakers before. It's quite moving.

But there is also the silence. The shots of the Earth* and the emptiness of the deserts. The way its framed somehow fills the scene with tension. It's not a peaceful day we're looking at. The notion of survival is somehow drawn out of what is essentially nothing more than a series of still shots of a rocky canyon-like environment. Such tension that one is not remotely surprised when the cat comes from nowhere and attacks the ape.

The silence in the space scenes is also telling. And realistic, too. Seeing metal objects bump and crash into each other and make no sound is offputting, especially as we've been so conditioned by our earthbound experience and unrealistic films where space explosions make noise! There are scenes, when Bowman and Poole are EVA (spacewalking) and the only sound is their breathing. C was left feeling claustrophobic! As I said earlier, you could watch much of the film with your eyes shut and not miss that much.

Of course, there is that seminal moment when it dawns on the ape that this bone can be used to break things. It's probably one of the most famous moments in film history and for good reason. Right there in that almost accidental discovery is the whole human condition and the strongest possible statement in support of evolution.

What follows, though, is something I'd never noticed before and is rather more disturbing. We see an ape teaching its off-spring to employ the bone as a weapon. That really struck me this time.

The moon scenes, ironically enough, are a fairly innocuous part of the film. I say ironic because that is the only part that is actually based on Arthur C Clarke's original short story, The Sentinel. In that short story, they find the monolith on the moon and, as in the movie, it emits a signal which is presumed to be some kind of message to whoever placed it there. Keir Dullea described it today as a kind of cosmic alarm clock, which is a good analogy. I guess it's kind of stating the obvious a bit, that the monolith was placed somewhere we could only find it when we'd advanced enough to be of interest. I've always been a little confused as to when it was placed though. I get the impression from the Earth scenes that the apes woke up one morning and it was there, so were the Moon and Jupiter ones placed at the same time?

The short story leaves the question open as to who is receiving the message that the Moon monolith emits, whereas the film follows the signal to Jupiter and beyond. Although by the end the question is no less answered for the journey, which is for the best.

You can take the rest of the film any way you like, really. From a simple story about a malfunctioning computer and a film director on serious hallucinogens. Right through to, oh, whatever you like, really :) The power of the film lies in what isn't expressly shown. In what is left to the imagination. That may be in part in deference to Clarke's original story being so open ended, or Kubrick's preference for doing the same. Perhaps its both. Perhaps that's why the two were such a good fit.

C actually made more sense of the trippy lights at the end than I ever have. Now, she wasn't aware of the foetus at the end. Even though it's on the posters and so forth, but as I say, she'd never seen it. But, even without that knowledge she'd spotted birth, rebirth and creation type themes through the light show. Apparently some of the images were rather phallic and others rather gynaecological. In her words, Kubrick was in part a dirty little boy who was continually amazed how much he was able to get away with!

Dullea had some interesting things to say about the scenes in the room at the end. He felt it was something this alien intelligence had picked up from his mind as preferred habitat. Whereas, of course, that wouldn't have been his habitat, perhaps his character had been to the museum recently and that's what they'd picked up on. In other words, it was their attempt to make him comfortable while they did whatever they were doing.

Anyway, we had a good time I think. But one comment on the appearances of Lockwood and Dullea. While they had their well rehearsed shtick going on, as I watched them sitting at those tables, signing autographs and posing for photos, I have to say they looked rather sad. Imagine having such long and successful careers as both performers have, but all anyone wants to talk to you about is one role from 40 years ago. I couldn't imagine anything worse!

So that was my day. Hence very little sleep. Hence (again? can you roll one hence on top of another like that?) I'm a little bit tired at work tonight :)

* It's easy to forget that one doesn't need to specify prehistoric Earth to make clear the scenes involved. There are no contemporary scenes set on Earth in the film.

worthless blog...

So I'm at work. I'm alone. It's 2.18 and I've already completed my primary function.

There are other things to do, but even they're out this time. Usually I can shred some old archived material and make some more room in the shed, but not tonight. The other ad hoc task is making up sales kits. But I can't even do that, because we're out of one of the brochures that goes in them!

So, of course, I blog! I love the 'next blog' button on blogger. You find some weird shit including, tonight, this.

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

T'rific!

catching you up a bit...

I guess it's probably time to put some of this IVF stuff in context. If this thing is going to be anything more than purely venting, then a post like the last one needs a little background. Let's start at the beginning.

Firstly, a quick Too Much Information warning for the squeemish :)

Male Factor Infertility, or MFI for short. That's what I've got. As is usual with such things, there is no one type and no one cause. There are a whole swag of different types. I have several of them. I have Oligospermia, which is basically a fancy way of saying low sperm count. Then there is the tetrazoospermia, which relates to the motility or swimming ability of the sperm. I also experience a high abnormal forms ratio, which means that there are relatively few of my sperm which are properly developed, even before the other matters have their effect.

As a final whammy - and this is the bit my doctor describes as "clinically significant" - my body produces antibodies against my own sperm. Don't ask me why, but the upshot of this is that if and when any of them finally reach an ova, they can't stick to it while they burrow in.

About six months or so after C and I started trying to conceive (ttc is the jargon, I've learnt!) we started to suspect something might not be right. C had always felt she had some sort of a problem. Prior to the coeliac diagnosis she'd much of the five or so years before that vomiting fairly regularly. This she felt had limited the effectiveness of her oral contraceptive regime over that time. Also, she had never had a single scare in ten years or so of sexual activity and her menstrual cycle wasn't particularly regular.

All things considered, some problem sounded likely, so we went off to the doctor. Sure enough she hadn't been ovulating, possibly for quite a long time. The doc gave her some stuff which seemed to do the trick. A couple of months after that I thought I'd go along and get myself tested, more or less just to dot the i's and cross the t's. After all, we'd found and fixed the problem. But that wasn't the case at all. The diagnosis came back and the rest is history.

There are a few key milestones in an IVF cycle. Broadly there is the harvest, where they draw the ova from the female. There's the fertilisation, which is kind of self explanatory. Although there is a little more to it in terms of the continuing development of the zygote in the dish. And there is the transfer of an embryo back into the female. From there it all becomes essentially the same as a natural conception, in terms of pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

Before the harvest they boost the ovulation cycle of the female to try to get just the right number of ova. If they get too many the hormone levels can be dangerous to the female and too few means its not worth the hassle of harvesting.

Our first cycle C hadn't grown enough ova, so they pulled the plug.

Second time around they changed the mix a bit and we got a harvest. They didn't get as many as they might've liked - only four ova - but it turned out that was enough. All four fertilised into embryoes and they transferred one fresh embryo back into C. That one didn't take.

A month or two later they went to thaw a couple of frozen embryoes to try again. They successfully thawed two, while one of the remaining embryoes failed to develop any further. They transferred those two thawed embryoes. One failed to take, but the other was successful. Unfortunately we miscarried that pregnancy at about the six week mark.

So, that's where we're up to. I hope that puts the earlier posts in context!

so it begins again...

I don't think there are many reading this who would know in real life. Maybe one or two. For the rest, suffice to say my politics are broadly centre left. Actually, the whole left-right thing does nothing for me. This guy has written a very thorough post on the subject here. But, so far as the left-right might be instructive, I am far more likely to vote for one of our veteran or emerging third parties than Liberal or Labor.

I have been involved with the Democrats over the years. I'm deeply ambivalent about it's future. On one hand, I'm concerned that too much time and effort is going to be spent trying to rescue a party that has essentially been navel gazing for quite a while now. I was disturbed to read in their national journal recently that they are again - or still, really - holding a consitutional review. FFS! Now?

On the other hand the role they've played is so vitally important. We've seen in this current term of parliament the kind of behaviour we haven't seen from a governing party in many years. Dominance of both houses must never be allowed. I had begun to become a little more relaxed with the prospect of the Greens becoming the balance of power party, but then I see stuff like this;

The Greens will campaign to stop the Bald Hills wind farm in the seat of Gippsland South in the lead-up to the Victorian election in November.

The newly appointed Greens candidate, Jackie Dargaville, will contest the seat held by the leader of the National Party, Peter Ryan.

Ms Dargaville lives at Fish Creek and lived on a farm at Bald Hills.

She says the Australian Greens support renewable energy over coal and nuclear electricity generation.

"But we do believe that renewables should be in the right place," she said.

"In coastal areas of great beauty and fairly high population and a lot of tourism potential we believe that's not necessarily the way to go unless that's what the community wants."

Oh, my giddy aunt. They're not ready.

They've done it before, of course. Polly, whose blog alerted me the item above, also reminded of an old favourite. This was hanging on that vacant block on the corner of Boronia Rd, Mountain Hwy and Wantirna Rd during the 2004 election. That's where the fast food joints have all just opened.


Ari has it blogged for posterity here. If I remember rightly I sent him that picture. In any event, I certainly took a photo. Actually, I stole the thing. Not sure where it ended up. I wish I'd kept it!

It's not that I don't trust the Greens specifically. But my very great fear has always been that their unity will crumble the first time their decision actually counts for anything more than shouting from the sidelines. I fear that the electorate will scream "oh shit, not them too" and swear off third parties for a generation. Examples like the above are evidence of maverick sorts and a lack of discipline that will not bode well if they get the balance of power.

In truth, I have no doubt that they would learn to handle the role. But I'm concerned that the electorate won't give them time.

There's a couple of other possibilities to step in to the breach. Family First have shot their bolt I think. Or maybe it's just with me. Their particular brand of populist policy might just be what the majority would be happy with. But I suspect the image of Steve Fielding making deals after being in the house about five minutes might raise flags with many. Check the site. They're calling him their 'Federal Parliamentary Leader'. That is champagne comedy, Colonel!

Then there is People Power. I'm a little bit interested in these guys. They seem to have picked up some intellectual capital and by the look of a couple of the names involved, they might have a few bob in kick to boot. Their existing published information is sound, although there are still many gaps. And they haven't answered my email yet after nearly a week, which is a slight concern.

Some of my persuasion might be concerned by a party that allows a board, albeit an elected one, to make it's decisions. May I say I've seen participatory democracy first hand and its not always that flash! Sometimes you just need to pick managers and let them do their job.

And so it begins. Another election cycle. State election almost upon us and then, for Victoria anyway, the federal campaign will be the focus of all attention.

back on the train...

So, we started back on the IVF train this morning. It's our second treatment cycle and within the first cycle we had two transfers, or implants. For the record, the first didn't take and the second resulted in a miscarriage.

I admit to being a little thrown by how quickly it's taken off. We're going in for Cate to have a hysteroscopy and a D & C next Wednesday. Already! Fuck! I'm concerned with the overlap with the last of C's study and the wedding, which will now all be happening at once. She assures me she's thought that through. I can only take that on face value and tell her of my concerns, which I've done.

She had the same procedure last time. Last time they did it primarily to see the lay of the land first hand. They wanted to check her uterus was in good shape. Even though the tests and scans had all been fine, it never hurts to be surer than sure. Plus they also wanted to stretch her cervix a little, which sounds bad but while uncomfortable for Cate is handy later on. It wouldn't do to go all the hassle of the cycle and then find the tube with the embryo in it won't fit! Plus, they're not stretching it to fit a large object through. Just a very narrow delivery tube, but I suppose even that's a wide opening in relative terms. She was uncomfortable last time, but it wasn't the worst part of the whole thing.

This time they're going to do it for the stretching reason, but less for the checking reason. They also want to make sure there is no tissue left from the miscarriage. But also, fascinatingly, they've discovered recently that fresh, regenerating endometrium cells are better for adhesion of the zygote.

It sounds, from what our doctor was saying, that there has a been a quantum leap in technology since we last tried. And that was only a year or so ago. Which, I fear, makes it a little harder not to get my hopes up. That's my dealing tool. I just convince myself that we're not there yet, so that failing is no surprise. C completely fails at this. It hurts so much to see her crushed every time, but I know she'll never take my tack. All I can do is hug her lots.

Nowadays they try to let the embryo grow in the dish an extra day or two. It then becomes, using the technical term, a blastocele. Apparently, and I suppose naturally enough, less embryoes get to the blastocele stage, but those that do have double or better chance of going on with it. According to the doctor they're up to about 50% success from that stage, as opposed to about 20% to 25% before. So that's got to be good. If it's better, I don't know why they haven't always done it. Presumably they've just got better at keeping the cells alive outside the womb, or something like that.

C is never a fan of internal examinations. Notwithstanding the personal discomfort it bring back certain memories of unpleasant experiences. So it's no surprise that the unexpected pap smear the doctor gave her today threw her a bit. :(

So, no move before next Wednesday.

porridge...

No, not gaol time!

C and I had porridge for breakfast this morning! Doesn't sound post-worthy yet, I know, but give me a minute.

A few years ago C was diagnosed coeliac, which is a gluten intolerance causing all sorts of intestinal ickiness. Oats, from which porridge is made, is one of four main sources of gluten. The others, all grains, are wheat, rye and barley. Derivatives of these four grains rule out other things, but that's the essence of it.

More recently, in response to increased stomach upsets, we took C off to the doctor for another look. According to this doctor it wasn't coeliacs at all. Never was. The only problem, at least from my point of view, is the nature of the diagnosis. See, coeliacs is a condition whereby part of the bowel, when exposed to gluten becomes inflamed. By staying off gluten as she has for a long time now, this inflammation won't occur. So how can you then look at the bowel and say she doesn't have it? Isn't it just that she isn't currently affected?

Apparently there is a blood test now, but I'm sceptical, particularly when the earlier scopes were quite clear. But maybe it isn't coeliac after all.

From time to time C has considered deviating from the gluten free diet, to test the waters a little. There is definitely something there, because a wheat bread sandwich made her sick a while back. But the other day, unbeknown to me, C had porridge and has been unaffected, it would seem.

T'rific.

As for me, I had epilepsy as a younger man and by sheer coincidence all three of my seizures came after a bowl of porridge. Pure coincidence. But, needless to say, it's become a bit of a family joke, rather like the one about keeping me away from knives, after "the incident" in '93! I'm pretty sure I'm not allergic to porridge, though :)

So, we'll see how today pans out, shall we :)

beta ain't so flash...

I should've read the fine print! Seems as a beta blogger, I can't post comments on a non-beta blogspot!

"That function is coming soon."

Oh well, I guess we wait :) I don't think there is anyone in the blogosphere who would notice my absence in comment-land anyway :)

a theory...

I've got a theory.

I reckon sex is the largest drawer of crowds to any website. Some say it's pop culture. Hard to argue with their logic. I just think it's sex!

So I'm going to make this post all about sex. Boy girl sex. Girl girl sex. Naughty cheating housewife sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.

Of course, this blog has nothing at all to do with it. At least not in such an overt "C and I bonk like bunnies" way. But I'm willing to bet that the amount of times I've mentioned sex, boobs, porn stars having sex, naughty sex , dildoes, cocks, MILF sex, voyeurs, exhibitionists and all types of weird sex, will make this coming day or two my most hit upon yet!


This picture has nothing to do with sex either. It's the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You can read about his - or should I say His - history here! For now, I've altered the meta data to get me into the image searches too :)

Over the next couple of weeks I might try the same thing with pop culture! If anyone has any theories of their own they'd like me to test, drop me a line.

By the way, beta blogger is working well. Almost better than - say it with me - sex!

...

John Tucker Must Die.

Hard to argue with that!

gone beta!

Just a quick note to flag the day I went beta.

Blogger is introducing some new functionality and while I'd never consider trying a beta on something critical, this blog presently represents a low risk factor for me and the new toys sounded worth the risk.

So, we're off and running. I took the opportunity, too, to change the template. Never really liked the old one. This one was my first choice originally, but I had trouble configuring it and settled for the other. Not so this time! Yay.

separated at birth...

Here's a quirky one for the Eddie McGuire and Collingwood fans out there. Guess who the host of the original UK Millionaire is?

Chris Tarrant!

Fancy that, eh!*

* For those not finding this even the slightest bit quirky, Eddie was until recently the host of Millionaire in Australia. He is also the president of the Collingwood FC, whose star forward is none other than Chris Tarrant.

a trekkie and a cyber stalker...

Yep, that's me!

I can't remember where - some blogroll somewhere, I imagine - but I tripped over a link to Wil Wheaton's blog the other day. It's pretty funny. Now, just to really tip my geekness over the top, he's started writing reviews of TNG eps like this one, for a TV blogsite called TV Squad.

His blog displays an enjoyable writing style. It's just self-deprecating enough to make it light, without coming over as needy, lacking in self-esteem or fishing for a compliment. And honest it would seem, about his family life. That's a refreshing trait in anybody these days. I'm not one to be caught up in the cult of celebrity - far, far from it (just ask C!). And from reading this blog, it seems he isn't either. So, kudos to you, Wil Wheaton!

Now, there is one thing. He uses this word 'grok'. In context it seems to be something like 'understand'. As in "my dog doesn't grok that this is my side of the bed", for instance. Does anyone know this bit of lingo?

UPDATE: Ah, now I grok it. Check this site and tell me if you think I'm using grok correctly in that sentence :) I'm not sure! It seems very nuanced!

giving it all away...

There must be some new unknown and nasty punishment for coming first on Forbes rich list! No one seems to want to be at the top anymore! First Bill puts a bunch aside for charity. My cynical side thinks that might've had more to do the anti-trust settlement than philanthropy. But on the other hand it did start once Melinda came on the scene and she seems a decent, grounded sort!

Then Warren Buffet got in on the gig. His method is remarkably simple. Just never sell anything. He figures that when you buy and when you sell is when you incur the costs. Taxes, bank fees, legal fees etc. Since you have to buy things in the first place, the next best thing is never sell! Makes sense when you put it like that!

Now this fella, who I must admit I'd never heard of, doesn't have a use for $30B of his loose change. Can't say I can think what to do with it, either! Amazing, isn't it? In a world of such intense celebrity scrutiny, the world's third richest person can be so anonymous. Relatively so, anyway, considering.

What happened to the Sultan of Brunei? Wasn't he the World's richest man at one point? Has he slipped backwards, or have the others done pretty well lately? :)

some perspective please...

I've become increasing uncomfortable with the whole media beatification thing going on around Steve Irwin. Have a read of Clive Hamilton's take on the whole Steve Irwin.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Damn shame Brocky had to go and follow suit, though!

even idol producers think its crap...

Ok, I'm going to concede from the outset, I've watched a grand total of about two hours of Idol. Ever. Not just this season. I mean in total. And now it seems I'm vindicated. Even the producers - the ones who write the ads - can't think of a nice word to say about the performers themselves.

I rely on updates like Bland Canyon's excellent summaries to keep up with the water cooler chat :) Thanks PetStarr!

I've just heard the ad for the first episode of the final 12 series. According to the ad, its on;

"the most impressive new set in Idol history"

and you'll meet;

"the most unique final twelve ever"

Now, putting aside that "most" in front of unique is a bit dopey, is that really the best that the famed Idol hype machine can come up with?

They really must be rubbish, then, eh?!

trying to recapture lost yoof cred...

Well, maybe just potty-mouthed, icky cred.

These Dolmio ads on tv lately have got me wondering. And giggling naughtily, frankly :) Is "the Dolmio grin" still a euphemism for a certain act that results in a similar appearance as the ads testify?

I know. Tacky and gross. But what else is an anonymous blog for? :) Guess I don't qualify for one of Steph's nice guys!